yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
