my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
