you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize