my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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