sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
This is the high leading the old right now
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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