SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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