That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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