My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
