You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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