Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
