Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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