You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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