she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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