you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
