At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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