it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
