well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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