I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
