Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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