I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
