She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
