I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
