Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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