Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
