at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
