quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
