I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
