Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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