You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
