I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
