i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize