Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
