I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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