Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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