It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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