I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
