ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Boobs speak an international language.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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