Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Be still, my beating vagina.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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