I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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