I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If I die, sorry about rent.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
