i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
