well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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