I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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