I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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