hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
