how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
