You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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