so explain again why im purple
no
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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