you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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