This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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