I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
