using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
