let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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