Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
