i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
