how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
