remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
