...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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