his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up under a house in Key West
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
