but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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