He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
