So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
