Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize