i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
