She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
