OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
